I forgot how to be myself

I used to be a sunny person, always smiling, helpful, everyone liked me and enjoyed my company. Me and my friends were together all the time, we used to talk for hours about love, dreams, disappointments, life, about everything. My life was easier somehow and I was happy.

I don’t know how and when things changed. Maybe I am just getting old, or maybe too many people disappointed me or maybe I became a disappointing person, I am not sure. But I am certain that something changed. I changed. I feel like I forgot how to be friendly, careless, honest, happy – I feel like I forgot how to be me.

Covid-19 crisis only made things even harder. When you don’t meet many people, you become some kind of introvert, which is very weird for an extrovert like me. Staying at home became comfortable and it makes me feel safe. Not happy, just safe. I am not sure that I know who I am anymore. I am not sure that I like myself anymore.

But as a fellow optimist, I may say that I hope that soon I will get to know the person I became, I will make sure that this is a nice and lovable person and I will prove it by trying to like myself more. Every day is a new beginning so I believe in today but I truly hope that tomorrow will be better for all of us.