Don't say a woman is crazy just because she runs away from her wedding.
The difference between a GOP convention and Comic-Con is that the people at Comic-Con have a much firmer grasp of reality.
The other guys are selling certainty. Not me. I'm on the corner with doubt.
People sometimes say how standup is so hard, and I always tell them that it's hard at the beginning.
I believe in God, I just give him more credit than being a single parent and an author.
If I thought the Lord was speaking to me I'd check myself into Bellevue, and I think you should too.