What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?
Billy ConnollyIf you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting.
Billy ConnollyI always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound.
Billy ConnollyI don't like the beach. I think we have no business at the beach at all, as a species. We don't belong in the sea. The sea is full of things that bite us, sting us, hurt the soles of our feet, and it's extremely cold. When are we gonna take the hint that the things that live in the sea don't like us?
Billy Connolly