There's a one in six billion chance you'll find your soul mate. And that's if they're not dead. At best they're probably living in some Siberian ice cave eating bugs and weaving beads into their back hair. But they're out there. My dad believed that to find your perfect soul mate, first, you had to look through a bunch of other guys' soul mates.
Christopher TitusAll of Dad's relationships ended exactly the same: subpoena, beep of a moving van backing up the driveway, pile of his clothes burning on the front lawn.
Christopher TitusI think our collective psychosis is hilarious. With the world moving as fast as it is, if we weren't dysfunctional, we couldn't function.
Christopher TitusMy parents got divorced. Early and ugly. My mum was nuts so I lived with my dad. We used to play a father/son games. Pin the blame on me, rock, paper, get me another beer, casino night.
Christopher TitusYou know what, man? I am going to literally โ if (Palin) gets elected president, I am going to hang out on the grassy knoll all the time, just loaded and ready โ because you know what? Itโs for my country. Itโs for my country. If I got to sacrifice myself, itโs for my country.
Christopher Titus