It's not that hard to climb a pole. All you need are powerful thighs and an empty soul.
You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
There's only two types of men left in this world. Lumberjacks and Liam Nesson.
Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching people that don't laugh make the people that do laugh feel shitty about themselves.