Thus the white men and Native Americans were able, through the spirit of goodwill and compromise, to reach the first in what would become a long series of mutually beneficial, breached agreements that enabled the two cultures to coexist peacefully for stretches of twenty and sometimes even thirty days, after which it was usually necessary to negotiate new agreements that would be even more mutual and beneficial, until eventually the Native Americans were able to perceive the vast mutual benefits of living in rock-strewn sectors of South Dakota.
Dave BarryCyrus Pembridge, the Never Landโs captain, was widely regarded as the most incompetent man to comman a ship since the formation of water. โWho in the name of common sense would put to sea on that ship with that man in charge?โ wondered Mack. โWell,โ Alf answered, โwe are.โ โTrue,โ Mack said.
Dave BarryPassing the SAT: My personal theory is that it has to do with how much money you send them in the mail. I think the amounts they tell you to send are actually just suggested minimum donations - if you get my drift.
Dave BarryReporters aren't stupid. We were standing around talking about which of the 900 health-care proposals that nobody's going to accept is that day's hot news. They know how silly that is. But that's what they do.
Dave Barry