The good thing about Pittsburgh, it's a good place to be raised... it doesn't tolerate assholes. You're either a good guy or you're a bad guy... When I'm in Los Angeles having these incredibly surreal moments where nobody's saying anything and everybody's talking incessantly, I always have that Pittsburgh voice in my head - shut up, smile, get the job, move on.

Their offense is shakier than Katherine Hepburn after an all-night espresso bender at Starbucks.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.

Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.

Should I really care what kind of beer frogs recommend?

Campaign analysts say that Dean has produced the most innovative web site in this year's presidential race. I particularly like today's blog, which consisted of the sentence 'I hate myself,' typed four billion times. In Dean's case, this may be the first instance where the actually entity represented by the web site has crashed more often than the site did.