The battle of the sexes will never be won as long as we keep sleeping with the enemy.
Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?
Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: 'A truck!'
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, how are you going to get into the corners?"
I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.
My dad and I, we used to play baseball. I was the catcher. Which I liked. Until one day, I saw this game on TV, and I said, Hang on, how come their catcher doesn't have his hands tied to his ankles?