If a man is wise, he gets rich an' if he gets rich, he gets foolish, or his wife does. That's what keeps the money movin' around.

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it

Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.

If ye live enough befure thirty ye won't care to live at all afther fifty.

Histhry is a post-mortem examination. It tellsye what a counthry died iv. But I'd like to know what it lived iv.

A man's idee in a card game is war

A game you play with your own worst enemy-yourself.