The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
George CarlinWhen I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
George CarlinThe phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
George CarlinThere are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
George Carlin