I hate funerals. They aren't for the guy who's dead. They're for the guys who are left alive and enjoy mourning.

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi.

Major Strasser: You give him (Rick Blaine) credit for too much cleverness. My impression was that he's just another blundering American. Captain Renault: We musn't underestimate American blundering. I was with them when they blundered into Berlin in 1918.

The only good reason to have money is this: so that you can tell any SOB in the world to go to hell.

People who don't drink are afraid of revealing themselves.

All you owe the public is a good performance.

The only reason to make a million dollars in this business is to tell some fat producer to go to hell.