You never count your chickens before they hatch. I used to keep parakeets and I never counted every egg thinking I would get all eight birds. You just hoped they came out of the nest box looking all right. I'm like a swan at the moment. I look fine on top of the water but under the water my little legs are going mad.

If you're a burglar, it's no good waiting about outside somebody's house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don't advocate that obviously, it's just an analogy.

It's all very well having a great pianist playing but it's no good if you haven't got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play.

Apparently it’s my fault that the Titanic sank.

Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you hit the moon.

I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season!

You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.