You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.

Golf - a young man's vice and an old man's penance.

An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that have been permanently discontinued.

Men are vain; but they won't mind women working so long as they get smaller wages for the same job.

A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.

If I wanted to go crazy I would do it in Washington because it would not be noticed