It's not as if ten years ago, we were like, 'I wish I could take low quality photos of my dessert.'
Jim GaffiganYou can never look that tough in glasses. ... You never see somebody push up their glasses and say, "I'm gonna kick your ass."
Jim GaffiganI never have free time, I don't know about you. You ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line in front of you and you get kinda flustered, you're like "Forget it! I'm not standing here for 40 seconds. I got things to do, okay?"
Jim GaffiganWhen people look and decide they have nothing in common with me - I'm 43, balding, blond, whatever - there's something absolutely invigorating about winning them over. Even if it's eight people from Sweden who don't understand what I'm talking about.
Jim GaffiganNew York has made me so paranoid, too. Whenever I visit another city, I always act like I'm from there, so the cab driver doesn't rip me off. I'm always like, "Yeah, it's good to be back home. Back here where I grew up. Yeah. Here in Tokyo. ... Uh, driver, I need to go to my old stomping grounds. That would be the Holiday Inn. And the address appears to be the pound sign."
Jim Gaffigan