It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.

As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.

My favourite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky."

Ten years after the Chernobyl accident, and am I the only one that's disappointed? Still no superheros.

You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.

There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me "oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys". Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?

Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.