Stand-up for me is just my opinions on things, so it wouldnt be as fun translated into a sketch. Nor would a sketch be as fun if it were me standing there saying it.

I kind of thought, wouldn't it be funny to take a swing at being on the weird side of mainstream?

Being president looks like the worst job in the world.

In every case, I find pre-planning noble, but not always that useful in comedy. You know comedy once you're doing it.

On Friday night, it was fun [to know] that if you bombed, or whatever was going on, that you'd be on TV at 11. It was a cool feeling, and you'd get a couple hundred dollars.

All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.

Comfort is everything. You start doing something and you want it to be perfect right away, but most babies are born ugly and then they shake it out and you get beautiful toddlers.