It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character.

Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.

I write longhand and I type and I rewrite on the typed pages.

Remember that everyone deserves some fun during working hours.

The smartest people in Washington are the political reporters. They write about their inferiors.

The frog is almost five hundred million years old. Could you really say with much certainty that America, with all its strength and prosperity, with its fighting man that is second to none, and with its standard of living that is highest in the world, will last as long as...the frog?

I’m not running away from my responsibilities. I’m running to them. There’s nothing negative about running away to save my life.