Teenagers are obviously God's punishment for having sex in the first place.

Basically it's just a whole bunch of blokes standing around scratching themselves

Age to women is what kryptonite is to Superman. Inside every older woman is a younger woman screaming, 'Get me the hell outta here.'

living with a teenage daughter is like living with the Taliban a mum is not allowed to laugh, sing, dance or wear short skirts

dealing with loss and heartache doesn't make you stronger. It only makes people think you are.

People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.

Home is where the heartache is.