Our mother's first gift to us comes at the moment we are born, because Mom, as she will subsequently remind us over and over, gives us the Gift of Life Like many of the gifts we receive from our mothers, the Gift of Life usually doesn't fit properly and is almost never returnable without a major hassle.

The strongest common bond between the genders is the universally acknowledged truth that both men and women are unhappy with their hair.

After living with Richard, I discovered that men are only good at cleaning stuff they can hose down.

There are three very good reasons to travel: 1. See the world. 2. Meet new people. 3. Room service.

Tip the world over and everything loose falls into L.A.

If you talk about yourself, he'll think you're boring. If you talk about others, he'll think you're a gossip. If you talk about him, he'll think you're a brilliant conversationalist.

Almost everything can be construed as sexual harassment depending upon the way it is said. One general rule of thumb is to think of your female co-workers as you would your sister. Yes, she is a woman. No, she is not a sexual object. Yes, your parents probably like her more than they like you.