I feel bad about that, that I worship celebrities... but their moods create weather.

I love support groups, people talking about their feelings.

Some of my friends and family have tried to challenge me to do jokes that aren't as self-deprecating, where I genuinely express my own opinion in my own voice.

My mom is very religious and she said, 'Whatever you think about all the time, that's what you worship.' If that's the case I'd like everyone to pop open their Diet Coke cans and turn to page 37 of their People Magazines. In this holy scripture, we read the parable of Ms. Valerie Bertinelli.

Get out of your house and go see some live performance, for God's sake. There are people creating things just outside your window.

Thirty ways to shape up for summer. Number one: eat less. Number two: exercise more. Number three: what was I talking about again? I'm so hungry.

Even if you're disgusting, and everyone is creeped out by you and thinks you're gross, you know, keep doing what you love!