Remember when you were eleven years old and you thought how great it would be to get your period? And then you got it? That's what planning a wedding is like.

The woman who steals your boyfriend has the ugliest shoes on earth. Truly hideous. You wouldn't be caught dead in them.

How to Tell a Good Pair of Shoes: Do you like them? Then they're good shoes.

How to Tell If Shoes Fit: Walking around the shoe store is not going to tell you any more than test-driving a car around a showroom. And those little mirrors? That's so you can tell how your cat is going to like your shoes. The real way to tell how shoes fit is how badly you want them.

... the running shoe ... could be called the Swiss Army knife of footwear ... What appeal is there to a shoe whose only selling point is comfort?

What becomes of the broken-hearted? They buy shoes.

Show me a woman with a subscription to a bridal magazine and I'll show you someone who doesn't even have a boyfriend.