Ballet is the fairies' baseball.

You can't possibly hear the last movement of Beethoven's Seventh and go slow. (Oscar trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket)

A conductor should reconcile himself to the realization that regardless of his approach or temperament the eventual result is the same-the orchestra will hate him.

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.

I'm controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.