I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.

I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.

We've got to step up our conservation efforts before it's too late. We're not protecting our lands and natural resources. Take the Grand Canyon for example; I'm sure that at one time it was a beautiful piece of land, and just look at the way we've let it go.

So I got into growing grapes, not realizing that there was a heck of a lot more to it than meets the eye.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.

They said I ignored the drug problem. Well, I gave speeches on drugs, I wrote books on drugs. I did darn near everything on drugs!

Actually, my wine was served at the White House twice. Reagan must have been asleep when he ordered it.