The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.