She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.
My parents didn't like me. For bathtub toys they gave me a blender and a transistor radio.
What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never met a girl yet who has fallen in love with an old ugly man who's broke.