I started over again with an image: Nothing goes right. Then when The Godfather came out, all I heard was, Show respect. With me, you show respect. So I changed the image to I don't get no respect. I tried it out in Greenwich Village. I remember the first joke I told: Even as a kid, I'd play hide and seek and the other kids wouldn't even look for me. The people laughed. After the show, they started saying to me, Me, too - I don't get no respect. I figured, let's try it again.
Rodney DangerfieldI like southern girls. They talk so slow that by the time they say no, I made it already.
Rodney DangerfieldWhen I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
Rodney DangerfieldWe learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.
Rodney Dangerfield