Like some cult religion that barely survives, there has always been at least one but rarely more than five or six devotees throwing the knuckleball in the big leagues . . . Not only can't pitchers control it, hitters can't hit it, catchers can't catch it, coaches can't coach it and most pitchers can't learn it. The perfect pitch.

One reason I never called balks is that I never understood the rule.

I never called a balk in my life. I didn't understand the rule.

Lou Piniella only argues on days ending with the letter 'y'.

Any umpire who claims he has never missed a play is . . . well, an umpire.

Umpire's heaven is a place where he works third base every game. Home is where the heartache is.

Throwing people out of a game is like learning to ride a bicycle--once you get the hang of it, it can be a lot of fun.