I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
Steven WrightThe Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Steven WrightSometimes I talk to myself in languages I'm unfamiliar with... just to screw with my subconscious.
Steven WrightIf all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
Steven Wright