Two girls called me closed minded. I tell them that they are so open-minded their brains leaked out.
Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.
I was stupid when I was 17 or 18. My thought process was that I thought that I was legitimately a hyper-genius, and so I wanted to go to the hardest academic school I could to see if I was really as smart as I thought I was.
You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.
You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while.
A lot of people think that since I'm drunk in my stories, I must be drunk 24 hours a day. What kind of stupid logic is that? It'd be like if you saw Michael Jordan at a restaurant and were like, "Why aren't you in your basketball uniform?" I leave out way more than I put in.