I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one.

People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them....well it's killing me!

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

I just got my first bikini. It's a three-piece: a top, a botton, and a blindfold for you.

I've been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phyllis Diller to Amy Schumer, so when I got an e-mail asking me if I would participate in the Women in Comedy Festival, I was thrilled.

I'm going to get married again because I'm more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.

Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.