We sat there, not talking, for a few minutes. He ate the Moon Pie; only skinny people can scarf down junk food like that. Finally, I said, "Norman?" "Yeah?" "Are you ever going to show me the painting?" "Man," he said. "You are, like, so impatient." "I am not," I said. "I've been waiting forever." "Okay, okay." He stood up and went over to the corner, picking up the painting and bringing it over to rest against the bright pink belly of one of the mannequins. Then, he handed me a bandana. "Tie that on.
Sarah DessenI felt like I'd been swimming so hard, and the water growing warmer and warmer the closer I got to the top. I wasn't there yet, but now I could see the surface, rippling just beyond my fingers.
Sarah DessenWho says there has to be a point?" He asked. "Or a reason. Maybe it's just something you have to do.
Sarah DessenI'd been through so much, falling short again and again, and only recently had found a place where who I was, right now, was enough.
Sarah DessenThat sucks, though," Wes said finally, his voice low. "You're just setting yourself up to fail, because you'll never get everything perfect." "Says who?" He just looked at me. "The world," he said, gesturing all around us, as if this party, this deck encompassed it all. "The universe. There's just no way. And why would you want everything to be perfect, anyway?" "I don't want everything to be perfect," I said. Just me, I thought. Somehow. "I just wantโ
Sarah DessenAt the same time, though, I was beginning to wonder if this was just how it was supposed to be for me, like perhaps I wasn't capable of having that many people in my life at any one time. My mom turned up, Nate walked away, one door opening as another clicked shut.
Sarah DessenThe point,' Ms. Conyers continued, "is that no word had one specific definition. Maybe in the dictionary, but not in real life.
Sarah DessenSo many times it seemed like there were chances to stop things before they started. Or even stop them in midstream. But it was even worse when you knew in that very moment that there was still time to save yourself, and yet you couldn't even budge.
Sarah DessenI just can't ever be a free spirit and just relax. When it comes to work, this is good. I'm very disciplined, which with writing is often half the battle, or more. But it also means that if I want to, say, play hooky and chocolate and watch Bravo all afternoon, I feel horribly guilty. I wish I could find a nice balance.
Sarah DessenSo you should remember that, when you're thinking about what other people can deal with. Maybe it's not so bad.
Sarah DessenSure, there was no guarantee any of these things would actually happen as he envisioned. But maybe that wasnโt the point.It was the planning that counted, whether it ever came to fruition or not.
Sarah DessenWho knew three dots could make such a difference? Like everything else, a love or a wish or whatever, it was all in the way you read it.
Sarah Dessen'I don't get it,' Caroline said, bemused. 'She's the only one with wings. Why is that?'
Sarah Dessen"Look," I said, "We knew Jason and Becky would be back, the break would end. This isn't a surprise, it's what's supposed to happen. It's what we wanted. Right?" "Is it?" he asked. "Is it what you want?" Whether he intended it to be or not, this was the final question, the last Truth. If I said what I really thought, I was opening myself up for a hurt bigger than I could even imagine. I didn't have it in me. We changed and altered so many rules, but it was this one, the only one when we'd started, that I would break. "Yes," I said.
Sarah DessenYou're wrong," I told her. "I lost that faith a long time ago." She looked at me as I said this, an expression of quiet understanding on her face. "Maybe you didn't, though," she said softly. "Lose it, I mean." "Lissa." "No, just hear me out." She looked out at the road for a second, then back at me. "Maybe, you just misplaced it, you know? It's been there. But you just haven't been looking in the right spot. Because lost means forever, it's gone. But misplaced... that means it's still around, somewhere. Just not where you thought.
Sarah DessenOne word," Ted replied, dead serious, "can change the whole world." There was a moment while we all considered this. Finally Lissa said to Chloe, loud enough for all of us to hear (she'd had a minibottle or two herself), "I bet he did really well on his SATs.
Sarah DessenI wanted to be somewhere else ... Someplace where the sight of me sobbing would tie me to no one and no one to me.
Sarah DessenMy sister, who never understood most of the things I wanted her to, might have been able to understand what had happened to me in this summer of weddings and beginnings. And she was right. The first boy was always the hardest.
Sarah DessenStill, there was also was something reassuring about working for Commercial, almost hopeful. Like things that were lost could be found again. As we drove away, I always tried to imagine what it would be like to open your door to find something you had given up on.
Sarah DessenMaybe marriage, like life, is'nt only about the big moments, whether they be good or bad. Maybe it's all the small things โ like being guided slowly forward, surely, day after day โ that stretches out to strengthen even the most tenuous bond.
Sarah DessenAnd while it is hard enough to take away something that makes a person happy it's even more difficult when it seems like it's the only thing.
Sarah DessenSo I learned another system: When in doubt, keep it out โ out of earshot, out of the house โ even if this meant, really, just keeping it in.
Sarah DessenThe kind who live for music and are constantly seeking it out, anywhere they can. Who can't imagine a life without it. They're enlightened.
Sarah DessenBut when you're alone in the world, really alone, you have no choice but to be open to suggestions.
Sarah DessenI had this wild thought that he was the only one in all this chaos who was just like me, and that was comforting and profound all at once.
Sarah DessenBut if everything was always smooth and perfect, you'd get too used to that, you know? You have to have a little bit of disorganization now and then. Otherwise, you'll never really enjoy it when things go right.
Sarah DessenThe lizard stared up at us, and we stared back, taking each other in. He was little and defenseless, I felt sorry for him already. This was a screwed-up place he'd just come into. But he didn't have to know that. Not yet, anyway. There in that room, where it was hot and cramped, the world probably still seemed small enough to manage.
Sarah DessenThere comes a time in every life when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your heart.
Sarah DessenI understood now. This voice, the one that had been trying to get my attention all this time, calling out to me, begging me to hear it - it wasn't Will's. It was mine.
Sarah DessenBecause you can never go from going out to being friends, just like that. It's a lie. It's just something that people say they'll do to take the permanence out of a breakup. And someone always takes it to mean more than it does, and then is hurt even more when, inevitably, said โfriendly' relationship is still a major step down from the previous relationship, and it's like breaking up all over again. But messier.
Sarah DessenI just stood there, looking at her. My head was spinning, my mouth dry, and all I could think about was that I wanted to go someplace safe, someplace I could be alone and okay, and that this was impossible. My old life had changed and my new one was still in progress, altering by the second. There was nothing, nothing to depend on. And why was I surprised?
Sarah Dessen