Conquering Indecision: Practical Tips for Regaining Control of Your Life

It's crucial to identify the roots of your indecision and then decide to change the situation.

Conquering Indecision: Practical Tips for Regaining Control of Your Life

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All of us have felt indecisive at some point in our lives. It's not easy to decide to quit a job, move to another city, or commit to someone, for example. However, for some people, this indecision is a daily occurrence and complicates even the most basic decisions, even those related to everyday life. For them, it can be genuinely challenging and sometimes paralyzing to choose a pizza, decide whether to respond to a message, and how, or decide whether to go for a walk before or after lunch.

In psychology, this condition has its explanations. Some call it chronic indecision; others define it as a type of personality disorder. When it's pathological and obsessive indecision, it's called aboulomania, characterized by serious difficulties or even an inability to make any choice in everyday life, leading to anxiety, depression, and stress.

Regardless of the diagnosis or the extent to which we may be affected by this unpleasant condition, it is crucial to learn more about its symptoms, the likely causes, and discover ways to overcome it.

Symptoms of Indecision

The most common symptoms of this problem are easily recognizable:

Difficulty in making a decision
Reluctance to make a decision
Procrastination in decision-making
Long and exhausting periods of hesitation
Anxiety and worry when needing to make a decision
Refusal to make a decision
Fear of possible negative consequences of the decision made

What Might Cause Indecision?

It's not necessarily a problem if we experience indecision. Everyone sometimes doesn't know exactly what they want. However, when this condition disrupts our communication and affects our quality of life in some way, it might be time to pay special attention to it. Most of our problems can be solved by first finding their root cause and the factors that provoke them.

Fear of Mistakes: One of the most common reasons for indecision is the fear of making a mistake, or disappointing oneself and others.

💡Advice: In such situations, it's good to remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and it's not the end of the world.

Fear of Rejection/Desire to Please: Another reason for indecision might be the fear that our choice may not be liked by others, leading to their disappointment and rejection or at least their disapproval.

💡Advice: We cannot control whether others like us, and it's unnecessary to try to please everyone.

Overload: This usually leads to a blockage. When too many dilemmas await their solutions, it's possible to feel overwhelmed and find it challenging or even impossible to make a decision.

💡Advice: It's important to prioritize your tasks by importance and make decisions one by one, starting with the most critical ones.

Fear of Responsibilities: A classic and often encountered reason for refusing to make a decision is not wanting to take responsibility. It might not even be about fear but just a refusal to be responsible for the consequences of one's decision.

💡Advice: It's good to reason with yourself about the decisions you make. This way, if necessary, you can defend them, facilitating the process.

Perfectionism: Some people insist on being perfect in every way. It's likely that they experience indecision to avoid risking making wrong decisions, which might show them in a less-than-perfect light.

💡Advice: A person who cannot make decisions cannot be perfect.

Risk Avoidance: Some people live their lives avoiding risks. They don't like changes, prefer to rely on the proven and safe. For them, making certain decisions might represent a risk they wouldn't take—a risk of exposure, mistakes, or disappointment.

💡Advice: There are situations in life when taking a risk can be wonderful and bring positive change. Let's not miss them.

Low Self-Esteem: Sometimes, people feel like they don't have the right to make decisions or that they haven't earned it. They have especially low self-esteem, making them give way to others when something needs to be decided.

💡Advice: Low self-esteem is a problem that needs treatment. Likely, this will also reduce this lack of confidence.

Fear of Missing Out: If I order a cheese pizza, what if the one with meat turns out to be tastier? It's hard to make a decision when you're afraid of missing something better.

💡Advice: Sometimes, it's necessary to take a risk with the cheese pizza. If you can, just order two different pizzas.

Techniques to Deal with Indecision

If you recognize yourself in the above examples, you're likely already wondering what might be causing these conditions. This is the first step towards solving the problem. Here are a few techniques that might help you gain confidence in decision-making and overcome the hesitations that keep you from living the life you want.

👉Challenge Yourself: The main way to deal with most of our fears is to face them head-on. Try challenging yourself in your everyday life by creating your own program. Start with something small. For example, the next time you find yourself spending too long choosing yogurt, just grab the one that looks most appealing, the one on sale, or the one from your favorite and familiar brand. Set criteria in advance and go with it.

👉Create a Habit: After the successful challenge, start applying it on a daily basis. When planning your day's tasks, pick one or two for which you'll confidently and decisively make a choice without hesitation.

👉Coin Toss: Not every decision requires analysis, preparation, thinking through the pros and cons, and consultation with friends and family. If you're hesitating whether you want lasagna or beans for dinner, just pull out a coin and let fate decide.

👉List the Pros and Cons: Dinner might not require deep thought, but there are other decisions that need more thorough analysis. If you're considering a new job offer, don't rely on a coin toss. Take the time to weigh the pros and cons and make the best decision.

👉Stop Catastrophizing: Often, when faced with a dilemma, we imagine all sorts of catastrophic outcomes. What if we make a mistake and harm someone or ourselves? What if the potential damage is too great? Try to pause and approach the situation realistically.

👉Ask Yourself: What's the worst that can happen if I make this decision? If you accept a job offer and it turns out not to be better than the previous one, what will happen? You'll be out of a job. Fine. Then you can look for a new one. The world doesn't end, and everything will be okay.

👉Delay the Decision: If you feel overwhelmed with too many cases awaiting a decision, the best thing might be to delay making the decision, as long as it's possible. This way, you can shake off initial emotions and look at the situation from a new perspective.

👉Listen to Your Intuition: Sometimes, decisions are right in front of you. It's not necessary to overthink every situation, as this can only intensify uncertainty. Sometimes the right choice is "screaming" inside you, and you just need to hear it, without needing arguments.

👉Seek Consultation with a Specialist or Psychological Help: If indecision disrupts your quality of life and you frequently feel anxiety, worry, depression, and stress, the best solution is to seek professional help.

*The article is for informational purposes and cannot replace consultation with a specialist.