If You Can't Remember the Last Time You Experienced Joy, Give Up These Seven Habits of Mind

These habits of mind have a tendency to make us unhappy, anxious and to take away the joy

If You Can't Remember the Last Time You Experienced Joy, Give Up These Seven Habits of Mind

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We all experience periods of sadness. Sometimes they are a consequence of some life event, and other times there is simply no explanation for them. It's like we sink into the habit of being miserable and at some point we find out that it is hard to remember the last time we felt joy, when we laughed through tears and felt that lightness when we knew everything was okay.

These states can be dangerous if they last longer. The best thing a person can do for their mental health is to seek professional help.

Often irritability and prolonged sadness can be due to sleep deprivation, junk food, alcohol and substance abuse, or too much caffeine. Today, however, we're talking about the mind habits that experts and psychologists say make us unhappy, anxious, and seem to "sap" the joy out of our lives.

Condemning

🔴This habit is easy to recognize - no matter what happens, we're still not happy. We always have a grudge against ourselves and others, we are always dissatisfied, we label "right" and "wrong" with ease. We judge ourselves for not achieving our own lofty goals. In the same cruel way, we treat those around us. And that makes us and them miserable.

👉Common phrases: 'Couldn't you have done it better', 'You know that's not right', 'Don't you think he's not right for you', 'It's your fault', 'It's my fault', 'You're being silly' and many more.

✅The best thing we can do for ourselves and the people we love is to stop judging and try to be more open-minded. We can regularly remind ourselves that everyone is on their own path and responsible for their decisions and mistakes.

Expectations

🔴Expectations that are too high, again no matter if they are self-expectations or expectations we place on others, do not lead to anything good. In fact, expectations generally do more harm than good. The risk of disappointment increases in proportion to the severity of expectations. When we take for granted that someone has to do something for us, or set ourselves tasks that are too difficult, it is possible that we will end up again facing the sadness of not being able to achieve them.

👉Common phrases: "I would have done it for you", "I'm so disappointed", "After all I did for you...", "Is this what I deserve", "I expected more" and so on.

✅Expectations can be eliminated relatively easily. It is necessary to try to eradicate this habit. This way we will enjoy more all the good things that happen to us.

Compare

🔴 Much has been said about the harm of comparing with others. A person who compares their looks, achievements, qualities, financial well-being or whatever with someone else is doomed to failure. Someone will always be better than us in one respect and we will excel in another.

👉Common phrases: "She's prettier", "I envy how you eat and don't gain weight", "I wish I was younger too", "Why can't I be successful like him", "They got a bonus and I didn't", "I envy you", etc.

✅Here the working strategy is to learn to appreciate our own qualities and achievements and to admire and be inspired by the successes of others.

People Pleasing

🔴There are people who feel an overwhelming need to please others and make them happy - their parents, their friends, their colleagues and boss, their partner. They tend to neglect themselves for the sake of others. There is one big problem though - we can never make everyone happy, we don't have that power. Besides, there are people who will not like us no matter the effort we put in.

👉Common phrases: "What else can I do for you", "Am I your favorite friend", "I'm their best employee", "Don't you love me anymore", "What can I do to make them start liking me", etc.

✅The best thing we can do for ourselves is to learn to give, but in moderation. We cannot give all our attention to someone else, all our love, all our care. Sometimes we need to give some of it all to ourselves.

Overthinking

🔴I mean overthinking in the sense of fixating. Many of us have this tendency, but in some people it is more advanced. They overthink every little problem over and over again until in their minds it becomes a huge issue. Now the problem is a tragedy that we have written and directed for ourselves.

👉Common phrases: "It's irresponsible to just forget about the problem," "Why did this have to happen," "How could I let this happen," "What's going to happen now," etc.

✅The best advice we can stick to is to make a promise to ourselves - to let the little things be little things and not to give them too much of our own time. It is too precious to waste.

The Victim

🔴The behavior of the "eternal victim" is toxic and leads to countless moments of sadness. It's about people who always define themselves as a victim of circumstance, other people, external events and rarely take responsibility for their lives. Sometimes they even deliberately choose to "sacrifice" themselves, their well-being or their comfort for someone else. This makes it easy for them to continue to play the role of victim.

👉Common phrases: "Why always me", "No one loves me", "I have no luck", "I never win", "It's too good to be true", "It will never happen to me", "Leave me alone" and so on.

✅If you identify with this description, try to limit the thoughts that make you feel this way. Take responsibility for your life, pay attention to yourself and let others do things for you. And more often feel gratitude for all you have. It will bring you more joy.

Assuming

🔴Many of the misunderstandings and causes of bad moods are due to our tendency to assume things. Especially when it comes to relationships with others. We take an incident, draw conclusions from it, turn them into facts and lo and behold, we're already miserable. And often these facts that we have constructed ourselves have nothing to do with reality.

👉Recognizable lines "He doesn't call me because he doesn't hold on to me", "She's being rude, she must be mad at me", "It didn't work out the way I wanted, so it's never going to work out"...

✅It's important not to jump to conclusions and assume anything on behalf of someone else. If you think she's angry with you, ask her, if you believe he's not calling you because he doesn't care about you, call him and find out. You'd be surprised how misinterpreting events you are sometimes. We all do it.

*The article is informative and does not substitute professional medical advice or consultations with healthcare professionals.