How to Deal with Disrespectful People: Six Ways to Stay Positive and Kind

We all sometimes face unkind treatment from others - it can come from loved ones, acquaintances or even strangers. Your loved one has been trolling you for no reason this morning, your neighbour hasn't said hello or the sales assistant at your favourite café has been nasty and disrespectful. These are just a few examples. 

Usually in such situations we lose our temper and respond just as rudely and sometimes even more. Most often, we regret our behavior after a while and are unhappy with the way we treated the person.

Wouldn't it be great if, instead of responding to rudeness with rudeness, we could keep our positivity and good humor. After all, that's not only how we'll help ourselves, by remaining cool and kind. It may turn out that the person across from us needed just that. We'll fix our own day, and his.

Today I will give you six techniques you can use to achieve this:

🌺 Master emotion

When someone is rude to us or provokes us, it is a natural reaction for emotions that are not particularly pleasant to rise up in us. We are bound to feel irritated at this point, which can turn into anger that can totally overwhelm us. So try to control these emotions. Forget about them and focus on something else.

🌺 Count to at least 5

The way to keep your composure when you're angry is to delay your reaction. That is, you shouldn't hastily respond with the first thing that comes to mind - it will probably be just as rude and you'll regret it later. The easiest way to delay your response is by counting - at least to 5. Try inhaling deeply and exhaling in the meantime. Surely now your reaction will be different.

🌺 Don't take it personally

Remember that others rarely pay as much attention to your persona as you think. This means that their behavior in most cases has nothing to do with you either. Rarely does the unsatisfactory behavior of others mean that they are bad people who hate you. Remind yourself of this the next time someone approaches you rudely or unkindly.

🌺 Put yourself in their shoes

The truth is that we have no idea what is going on in the lives of others. We don't know how they are feeling at any given moment, what problems they are having, what is on their mind, and how unhappy or scared they might be feeling. So wait before you take offence at someone for not saying hello to you, for example, or for acting clumsy and sulky. The easiest way to do this is by simply asking how it is. Maybe that's what he needed.

🌺 Stay good-natured

This is probably the hardest step. When we receive negative treatment, we are instantly filled with anger and ready to immediately respond appropriately. This is the easiest way, but certainly not the right way. Instead, try to remain gracious by following the steps above. Curb the emotion, slow down the reaction, remind yourself that maybe the snide remark is nothing personal. Remind yourself that you have no idea what's going on in the other person's head. And stay well-meaning. This reaction is guaranteed to defuse tense situations and bring ease to communication.

🌺 Set a boundary

All this doesn't mean letting yourself be bullied. We're talking here about harmless situations where someone has said something unkind to you, picked on you or approached you in a rude and negative way. There is a big difference between that and systematic mistreatment bordering on bullying. By all means be prepared to set a boundary. Speak it clearly - let the person know how far your options extend and when their behaviour becomes unacceptable to you.