I believe in compulsory cannibalism. If people were forced to eat what they killed, there would be no more wars.

Smoking dope and hanging up Che's picture is no more a commitment than drinking milk and collecting postage stamps.

Usually when you ask somebody in college why they are there, they'll tell you it's to get an education. The truth of it is, they are there to get the degree so that they can get ahead in the rat race. Too many college radicals are two-timing punks. The only reason you should be in college is to destroy it.

Free speech means the right to shout 'theatre' in a crowded fire.

The first duty of a revolutionist is to get away with it. The second duty is to eat breakfast. I ain't going.

Maintain a sense of humor. People who take themselves too seriously are power-crazy. If they win it will be haircuts for all. Beware of power freaks.

In this state, dig it, you get twenty years for sale of dope to a minor. You only get five to ten for manslaughter. So like, the thing is, if you're selling to a kid and cops come, shoot the kid real quick!