When I was a small boy, old people used to squat down to my eye level and ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, to which my answer was invariably, "a pirate." Their stunned silence was always very reassuring.

Someone invent a NO LIFE alert so you can push a button and tons of people show up and hang out with you.

A boy and a girl started dating after he backed his car into hers. They met by accident.

If you can fly, don't stop at the sky, 'cause there's footprints on the moon!

Today I fell asleep reading a book. The book is called INSOMNIA. I win.

I'm scared to death that I'll never be afraid

I kind of tend to do most of my adventures in my mind.