Perhaps we always want the person we love, to have the existence of a ghost.
People love nobody as much as they do their hatred.
Life has now taught me that love for things, like all unrequited love, takes its toll in the long run.
To be on an island inhabited by artificial ghosts was the most unbearable of nightmares,- to be in love with one of those images was worse than being in love with a ghost (perhaps we always want the person we love to have the existenceof a ghost).
The sea is endless when you are in a rowboat.
And the reason I am so nervous is that everything I do now is leading me to one of three possible futures... Which one will it be? Time alone will tell. But still I know that writing this diary can perhaps provide the answer; it may even help produce the right future.