The essence of humor is that it should be unexpected, that it should embody an element of surprise, that it should startle us out of that reasonable gravity which, after all, must be our habitual frame of mind.

The vanity of man revolts from the serene indifference of the cat.

Who that has plodded on to middle age would take back upon his shoulders ten of the vanished years, with their mingled pleasures and pains? Who would return to the youth he is forever pretending to regret?

There is an optimism which nobly anticipates the eventual triumph of great moral laws, and there is an optimism which cheerfully tolerates unworthiness.

It has been well said that tea is suggestive of a thousand wants, from which spring the decencies and luxuries of civilization.

It is bad enough to be bad, but to be bad in bad taste is unpardonable.

Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times, because they had nobody to talk about.