The universality of a custom is pledge of its worth.

History is not written in the interests of morality.

Wit is artificial; humor is natural. Wit is accidental; humor is inevitable. Wit is born of conscious effort; humor, of the allotted ironies of fate. Wit can be expressed only in language; humor can be developed sufficiently in situation.

It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

What puzzles most of us are the things which have been left in the movies rather than the things which have been taken out.

If we could make up our minds to spare our friends all details of ill health, of money losses, of domestic annoyances, of altercations, of committee work, of grievances, provocations, and anxieties, we should sin less against the world's good-humor. It may not be given us to add to the treasury of mirth; but there is considerable merit in not robbing it.

Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times, because they had nobody to talk about.