For the first week of the Sian events I was a first aid worker in the streets of Sian.

Everybody calls everybody a spy, secretly, in Russia, and everybody is under surveillance. You never feel safe.

I have loved and bitterness left me for that hour. But there are times when love itself is bitter.

Much that we read of Russia is imagination and desire only.

I believe only in money, not in love or tenderness. Love and tenderness meant only pain and suffering and defeat. I would not let it ruin me as it ruined others! I would speak only with money, hard money.

Yet it is awful to love a person who is a torture to you. And a fascinating person who loves you and won't hear of anything but your loving him and living right by his side through all eternity!

When I was a girl, the West was still young, and the law of force, of physical force, was dominant.