But settled things were enemies to me and soon lost their newness and color. The unknown called.

Everybody calls everybody a spy, secretly, in Russia, and everybody is under surveillance. You never feel safe.

More and more do I see that only a successful revolution in India can break England's back forever and free Europe itself. It is not a national question concerning India any longer; it is purely international.

But settled things were enemies to me and soon lost their newness and color. The unknown called.

New York was a new and strange world. Vast, impersonal, merciless.... Always before I had felt like a person, an individual, hopeful that I could mold my life according to some desire of my own. But here in New York I was ignorant, insignificant, unimportant--one in millions whose destiny concerned no one. New York did not even know of my existence. Nor did it care.

I joined another circle and the leader gave us a little leaflet in very small print, asking us to read it carefully and then come prepared to ask questions. It was a technical Marxist subject and I did not understand it nor did I know what questions to ask.

When I was a girl, the West was still young, and the law of force, of physical force, was dominant.