I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry. I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying down.

I'm black, and black don't crack. It does droop.

Comedy is ugly. It's honest, it's raw.

Pop culture hales you and wants you to fail.

I don't believe in superheroes but I love Batman movies. There's a part of every person that is entertained by the idealistic, the fantastic.

I'm my own boss and my boss is a total ass.

Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.