Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

I wish I had spent more time at the office and less time in prison.

I don't know what happens to you after you die. I'm not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

One thing I've noticed about politics is that these guys have pretty thick hides.

Skepticism turns to cynicism, which leads to apathy and despair, which can cause sleeplessness, dry-mouth, and loss of sex drive?

If you use Facebook - as I do - Facebook in all likelihood has a unique digital file of your face, one that can be as accurate as a fingerprint and that can be used to identify you in a photo of a large crowd.

No one is more sensitive to the issue of overeating than the creator of Stuart Smalley.