It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich.

I still don't like the word agnostic. It's too fancy. I'm simply not a believer. But, as simple as this notion is, it confuses some people. Someone wrote a Wikipedia entry about me, identifying me as an atheist because I'd said in a book I wrote that I wasn't a believer. I guess in a world uncomfortable with uncertainty, an unbeliever must be an atheist, and possibly an infidel. This gets us back to that most pressing of human questions: why do people worry so much about other people's holding beliefs other than their own?

The best things said come last. People will talk for hours saying nothing much and then linger at the door with words that come with a rush from the heart.

My mother didn't try to stab my father until I was six, but she must have shown signs of oddness before that.

Musicals are hard for me because I got thrown out of the glee club in high school, because I couldn't sing in tune at the time. I can sing in tune now, but I have to work really hard on it to make sure that I don't exercise one of my great talents, which is the ability to sing in three keys at the same time.

It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich.

People who laugh together generally don't kill each other.