So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name.

I've never seen the point of the sea, except where it meets the land. The shore has a point. The sea has none.

Children always assume the sexual lives of their parents come to a grinding halt at their conception.

Definition of a classic: a book everyone is assumed to have read and often thinks they have.

Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.

I lack what the English call character, by which they mean the power to refrain.

f they'd been working with Alec Guinness, for instance, they wouldn't have known they were born if they'd not towed the line!