Whenever I'm out-of-doors and find myself wanting to have a first-rate think, I fling myself down on my back, throw my arms and legs out so that I look like an asterisk, and gaze at the sky.

Compared with my life Cinderella was a spoiled brat.

To be most effective, flattery is always best applied with a trowel.

One of the marks of a truly great mind, I had discovered, is the ability to feign stupidity on demand.

As I stood outside in Cow Lane, it occurred to me that Heaven must be a place where the library is open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. No ... eight days a week.

Anyone who knew the word slattern was worth cultivating as a friend.

My grandmother flew only once in her life, and that was the day she and her new husband ascended into the skies of Victorian London in the wicker basket of a hot-air balloon. They were soon to emigrate to Canada, and the aerial ride was meant to be a last view of their beloved England.