The female sex has no greater fan than I, and I have the bills to prove it.

There even are places where English completely disappears. In America, they haven't used it for years! Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?

Don't let it be forgot, that once there was a spot, for one brief shining moment, that was known as Camelot.

You see what happens today. Women act like men and want to be treated like women.

Youth has many glories, but judgement is not one of them, and no amount of electronic amplification can turn a belch into an aria.

Why can't a woman be more like a man?

A schedule so tight that it would only work if I didn't sleep on Monday nights.