...My point is, I went crazy. When I saw what a black, awful joke the world was. I went crazy as a coot! I admit it! Why can't you?

I did it thirty-five minutes ago.

If we can come up with all sorts of imaginative ways in which people die, then I really don't see what the problem is with coming up with imaginative ways in which people can procreate.

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

I am brother to dragons, and companion to owls. My skin is black upon me, and my bones are burned with heat.

On my fortieth birthday, rather than merely bore my friends by having anything as mundane as a midlife crisis I decided it might be more interesting to actually terrify them by going completely mad and declaring myself to be a magician.

How can two people hate so much without knowing each other?