Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

I sat on the bed. I looked at the Rorschach blot. I tried to make it look like a spreading tree, shadows pooled beneath it, but it didn't. It looked more like a dead cat I once found, the fat, glistening grubs writhing blindly, squirming over each other, frantically tunneling away from the light. But even that isn't the real horror. The horror is this: in the end, it is simply a picture of empty meaningless blackness.

There's a notion I'd like to see buried: the ordinary person. Ridiculous. There is no ordinary person.

Who imprisoned me here? Who keeps me here? Who can release me? Who's controlling and constraining my life except...me?

It is the oldest ironies that are still the most satisfying: man, when preparing for bloody war, will orate loudly and most eloquently in the name of peace.

The things we do without the fear of failure and the desire for success are the purest acts we'll ever do

It may be true that the only reason the comic book industry now exists is for this purpose, to create characters for movies, board games and other types of merchandise.