Pippo Inzaghi was born in an offside position.

I bet him he wouldn't get 15 league goals and I'm going to have to change my bet with him. If he gets to 15 I can change it and I am allowed to do that because I'm the manager. I'm going to make it 150 now!

I remember the first time I saw him. He was 13 and just floated over the ground like a cockier spaniel chasing a piece of silver paper in the wind.

I'm going to tell you the story about the geese which fly 5,000 miles from Canada to France. They fly in V-formation but the second ones don't fly. They're the subs for the first ones. And then the second ones take over - so it's teamwork.

In any normal season, most of the teams below Chelsea would think they are doing quite well.

If Chelsea drop points, the cat's out in the open. And you know what cats are like - sometimes they don't come home.

Her Majesty said she hoped I would have time for my horses - I own two and have shares in four.